The Other Daughter

I’ve always hated my mother, at least that’s what I’ve remembered since I was a child. But I need to meet her again before she’s gone, to see if I can still love her or if these feelings are too deeply set to ever change.

Director’s statement :

I spent more than half of my life hating my mother, to the point where my mental health suffered, causing multiple hospital visits. That hate stemmed from feeling like my mother wasn’t like other moms — she wasn’t always present. Growing up, I felt unwanted, and that belief shaped my view of her.

But everything changed when I found old letters she had written. One letter spoke about my grandmother’s past — how she was abandoned by her husband when my mother was born. That letter revealed that my grandmother had never been happy, and it made me wonder: has my mother felt the same way? Is it any wonder that I, too, have never felt happy? This discovery prompted me to re-evaluate my mother, not just as a parent but as a woman with her own past and struggles, much like me.

Learning about my mother’s past through those letters and later conversations with her and my grandmother made me realize how normalized the single role of women in parenting has become, especially here in Indonesia. Reflecting on my own experience, I had always expected my mother to fulfill her parenting role, which made me part of the cycle that perpetuates a narrative where parenting is solely a mother’s job, leaving fathers out of the picture.

Through the characters in this film, I hope to shed light on the vulnerabilities women face, being constantly placed in difficult situations that lead to impossible choices. If you are a daughter, you may even find yourself resenting another daughter — your own mother. My hope is that with The Other Daughter, the audience will feel embraced by the efforts of these three women from three different generations as they try to understand one another, even after all the hurt.